Sexy pants

Every now and then you need to feel sexy. Like a woman. Like your not done being beautiful because your not "on the prowl" anymore. Or because you did have that extra serving of mashed "I like big butts" potatoes.

I recommend Mac makeup. And sexy pants. Yeah... and maybe a good coat. It was a good combo for me.

Maybe no more pajama pants for a while too.

I got to see one of my bestest friends... Andrea, the other night. She was looking especially sexy. She reminded me of how much fun it is to get all "dolled up." Mainly because I did so for her.... why is it that girls dress up for other girls? (It's the truth and you know it!)

I enjoyed my time with her so much. She is one of those friends that makes me think about how I can be better. Not because she's all preachy or anything... but because she is just inspiring.

I also got to meet her man (FINALLY!). Also full of sexy. I'm so happy for her. She deserves to have a good man that is also nice to look at. :)

Anyhow, she showed me her makeup collection, and I thought about quitting my job for half a second to become a makeup artist! It's like painting - but on someone's face. But then I remembered, that I have to keep my job. Kind of important.

Saying Goodbye

On Wednesday I booked a flight to Seattle to say goodbye to my dying Grandmother. On Thursday I was in her hospital room. The miracle of having a flexible and supportive job - and of airplanes!

My Grandma Krienke is the grandmother that I was closest with growing up. I spent a few weeks with her during some of my summers. Everyone says that I was her favorite - and I kinda like to think so. Although, I think with grandma's each grandchild is "their favorite!"

Grandma Krienke is honestly one of the most pleasant people I will ever know. She was so sick, and had to have been in pain - but never complained. She was always smiling - and saying how nice everyone there was. Grandma is suffering from dementia - so it's really cute when she tells you how nice everyone is... because your positive she doesn't remember!

Dementia is an interesting thing. There are the obvious draw backs - but there are some real blessings that come with it. I truly think it's God's way of protecting them. I think Grandma might have known what was going on if she didn't have dementia. As it was - seeing ALL of the family show up... was just... a surprise! And a surprise! And a surprise!

One of the great blessings for me was to hear the stories repeated so many times. The things that she could remember - were repeated frequently. Which helps - because although I don't have dementia - my memory isn't much better!

"Grandma, where were you born?"

"Oh, I was born in Dodge City Kansas. And then I moved to California. California girl. I lived in Los Angeles."

"When did you move to Washington?"

"When I married Paul. We used to live on the 18th green. So I golfed a lot."

"How much did you golf grandma?"

"I golfed in the morning, afternoon, and evening, Saturdays and Sundays!" - that one became one of my favorites! She repeated that line A LOT! She did it in such a cute way - because she could barely get her mind in order - but there were little sayings that she was able to rattle off very quickly (and cutely I might add!)

Another one she kept saying was "Oh well, now I'm really living" in reference to me adjusting her bed up or down.

When asked how the food was "Oh its wonderful! And I don't have to do dishes anymore, so that's the good part." Everything was a positive. Even when she talked about how she missed cooking - she would say "But now my memory isn't so good, so it's nice that I don't have to cook. I don't have to do the dishes, and that's the good part!" (I put in the repetition to give you an idea of how much I liked that line)

I loved when I asked her if she was good looking as a young woman; she said,"Of course!" Then she would give you face and stick out her tongue. She has a great sense of humor.

There were a few sweet blissful moments of what I like to think of as clarity. Some might say she was just having a lucky guess - but I think she knew it was me for just a few moments. She would tell me how much she loved and missed me.

One of those was when I gave her this seashell that I picked up off "our" beach. She used to take me down there every day. She loved seashells. Couldn't think of a better gift for her... than to give her a gift that would bring back a memory!

On Sunday night - I got to be with her alone - just once. I was able to say goodbye. Hug and kiss her. Cry. Tell her how much I loved her, and hug and kiss her some more. It was perfect. I left crying - but honestly, my heart was happy. She's always in such a good mood - and she doesn't even remember pain, so I knew that she was ok. I also knew that God was very near, and that He is very mindful of everyone... especially my Grandmother.

On another note. I got to see my family. I got to reconnect with long lost cousins: Ashley, Benjamin, and Theresa. I got to hear about their lives, and come to the realization of how much I want them in my life. We shared laughs, tears, and hugs. I also got to spend a lot of time with my aunt Lynne. She has been doing the majority of the caretaking for my grandmother- and I respect and love her so much. She has been doing a thankless job. Caring for someone with dementia is so difficult. Her life has not been her own for years. The news of grandmother rallying on Sunday wast bittersweet. I completely understood. I had just been there for a few days - but I didn't want my grandmother to have to keep going on. Getting better, and then worse, and then better again. Lynne has been by her side for so long - and I don't know how she has done it... I can't imagine being on that rollercoster for as long as she has! Amazing. Humbling. Lynne is such a neat woman. A little ADD... which was all the more endearing! She would even forget to eat because she would get so distracted. I wish! I've never been too anything to eat....

Jaren was able to come up on Friday and spend the weekend with us. I was so happy to be able to share my family with Jaren and vice verse. He fits in perfectly. Benjamin is in the Air Force and is flying planes. They discussed flying and military until we were all ready to throw up. I got the opportunity to realize (again) how much I need my husband. He truly is my perfect match. He comforts my soul, and brings so much peace into my life. Peace and balance.

The other funny thing that happens when you get your family together... you find out how much you are genetically predispositioned to be the way you are. Theresa, Lynne, and Ashley live so far away - and yet we have so many things in common. And there was a moment when Theresa and I realized we were repeating a conversation to each other, after we had just made fun of our mothers for repeating their conversations. No matter how much you may try otherwise - part of you will always be like your mother. Part of you will always be like your family. So just breathe.

Gratitude

There are so many things in this life for which I am grateful. But I think that during this season it's important to take time to truly think about the things that I have been given. I'm truly a blessed woman. I have everything I need, and then some:

I have a family that is incredible. No matter how many times life gives them a beating - they keep going. They push through things that would put most people over the edge. And even sometimes when I feel like that's where we are headed, somehow everything works out. I am so thankful that I have been sealed to them in the Temple for all time and for all eternity. I hope and pray that I can live worthily to obtain all of these blessings with them.

I have in-laws that put the Cleavers to shame. They literally are the most loving and accepting people I've ever known. They have brought me into their home with open arms, and have accepted me for the crazy, hyper-emotional, overly sensitive person that I am. Janet is my living example of what Christ would want me to be. She is the most productive person, and everything that she accomplishes, she does without complaint. She is generous, selfless, and thoughtful.

Next, I'm so glad that I feel things the way that I do. I'm blessed that I've been given this gift to feel things so intensely. I would be lost without my feelings. They are my guide. They let me know when I'm straying away from being myself. And if I haven't cried over something beautiful that day - well then... I'm probably sick. I'm also grateful to have the physical body that I do. I joke often that I'm built for crossing the plains... or bearing children. Hopefully if/when either of those come to pass - I'll really be able to handle it. I do know that it's built to work.... and work hard. I find joy in physical activity - and in pushing my body to it's limits. I worry when I'm not sore from something - I usually feel lazy when that happens.

I'm also thankful for my friends. They are good people. They help me to be a better person. They make me want to stretch myself in new ways, and examine areas for improvement. They encourage me when I feel lost or frustrated. They direct me back to the Lord, and back to nature - both things that bring me back to center. Both things that give perspective and meaning to the seemingly endless days of working.

I saved Jaren for last. Just like dinner, when I save the potatoes for last - I save what I love the most for the last...

I simply cannot imagine my life without him. He is my balance. He is my best friend. He is my coach, cheerleader (most masculine cheerleader you'll ever know right?), and my tissue holder. His shoulder doubles for a Kleenex. I love him so much, and I am so happy that he convinced me to just give him a chance when I was so sure that I was done dating anyone and everyone. I'm lucky that he keeps choosing me every day. He is the kind of person I want to be.

Cycle Camp

I feel a bit like a sluggish squirrel that has been fed by too many humans. I am embarking upon familiar waters... and yet feeling entirely unprepared. As many of you know, I sustained a knee injury last year at the Spudman triathlon. The result was a catastrophic (in my eyes) ending to my season (and training). My response = food and physical therapy. Unfortunately physical therapy doesn't quite add up to the amount of training that I was previously accustomed to. Therefore, my body began to adapt to it's new sedentary lifestyle. The product = Exhibit A as seen above.

Luckily, I'm blessed with a determined mindset, and a competitive drive. So I'm literally back in the saddle. I am participating in coach JR Smith's Power Cycle Camp again this winter. I was impressed with how much my biking improved in one year, and I'm looking forward to seeing what it can do in two. I'm also blessed because Jaren is letting me do it again, and is very supportive of my dreams as an athlete.

I'm currently determining my race calendar for this next year. One thing is set. The Utah Half Ironman. And as it turns out, I am blessed in one more area. As I was injured last year, the race officials agreed to transfer my registration to the 2008 race! Let's just hope that I can train my body in such a way as to prevent injury this year!

I feel very lucky to have a body that likes physical activity. I honestly feel lost when I can't workout or train. I'm grateful to have friends and family that understand my desires and dreams, and that are so supportive. I am so thankful for all of the support that I received last year when I couldn't compete. I am a social worker, and yet, I was entirely unprepared for the "grief and loss cycle" that I went through in losing my ability to do whatever I wanted.

For anyone out there that is looking to do some fun races this year... let me know! I love doing these events with friends and I love sharing in the joy that completing a goal brings.

Even more than that... I love training with friends. No easier way to get through that 5 mile run than yapping it up with someone!

Happy Training!

Ahh crap - thanks for tagging me Emily!!!

Here are the rules:
#1. Rules of the game must be posted at the beginning.#2. Each player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves.#3. At the end of the post, the player then tags other people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

1. As a child, I was a spinner. You know... one of those kids that twirls around over and over until they fall down. I did this a lot. Probably too much. May explain some of my neurological issues...

2. I'm a vegetarian that craves meat, and misses McDonald's cheeseburgers. Oh the number two... whoa... miss that. Love the pickles and the mini onions. Might actually kill me if I were to eat it now. I recently found a good fake turkey product though. After 7 years of no turkey, I'm in heaven! Tastes like turkey, texture of turkey... no turkeys killed. Bonus!

3. I have always been this stressed out. It's genetically encoded into my DNA. I was in 6th grade, and I had to be put in a stress relieving class with this kid Jeremy... who was also stressed out. We had to go down to the counselor and listen to relaxing tapes... and progressive muscle relaxation. I cried for days over an A-. I still keep my homework, because for me... it was that important. I recently was told (by Jaren) that I had to pick my favorites and condense it into a file drawer... well this was my Elementary up to High School homework... this was one of the hardest things I've ever done. You never know when your gonna need your elementary homework!

4. I have lived in Yosemite for a month in 2000. No tent.. just a bivi sac (that's like a shell for your sleeping bag). Best month ever.

5. I have two real fears in life. Failure and being alone. Both scare the tar out of me.

6. I was a state champion in high school in swimming. I went to state every year of high school, including 9th grade. I had a Letterman's jacket at Albion Middle school... kind of weird if you think about it. I wasn't a terrific swimmer... I just worked really hard. That's pretty much how my life goes. I'm not great at anything - but I try really hard at most things. :)

Now I'm tagging Josh.

"So... is it October in Australia???...."

Every once in a while I have one of those moments... The moment that by the time you realize the words that have left your mouth... the embarrassment has hit. Seriously? "So... is it October in Australia?..." Wow. Impressive.

That ranks up there with my sister-in-law's surprise to find out that Alaska was not, in fact, an island.

While my recent Moab-to-St. George trip was an unexpected and random vacation... it was also a gem of one liners to be remembered by... well... probably only me - and for not that long. It is in my attempt to preserve some of the hilarity that I relate a story.

We were in St. George. Climbing in Snow Canyon. Minding our own business - as much as you can without a guide book. We were having a good old time on this beatific climb. When out of the dust pops a group of pretty people, carved out of muscle, pot, and cappuccinos. The film crews followed suit. So I ask you - what do you do when people are filming obvious poser climbs? A jig! Wait for it.... now!






Needless to say - we didn't have our cameras. So I had Josh snap a few shots of my clever dance for all to see. It's a rough version... but you'll just have to use your imagination.

Twilight

Every once in a while you get that chance. That chance to escape. That chance to be someone else. In a long list of my obsessions I have a new favorite...

I have found a new appreciation for love, and for the excitement that can be found within. My imagination has been unlocked. I am thinking about the world and the way I interact within it in new ways. I wore red lipstick this week...

Do you remember as a child - when the world was not set within the bounds of reality? Do you remember the feeling of playing, and being sure that you literally could fly? Or that if you needed to suddenly be able to disappear - that it was a possibility? I think all of us long to return to those days and have our imagination become an integral part of our brain again. Well it's back... at least for me.

When you read 600 page books (yes plural) in a matter of two days - you know that it's something that has a hold on you. My heroin I keep calling it. I recommend it only to those who desire to have their life high-jacked. And trust me... this series is worth the high-jacking!

Yellowstone

Yellowstone was exactly what I needed it to be. A remedy for my soul. I find that the daily grind does exactly that to my inner self. It slowly grinds away all the purpose and meaning to my life - until I'm just wandering around day to day forgetting who and what I really am.

I am so grateful for life's little moments that remind my of what and who I'm supposed to feel like. I love that connection to nature and that moment when the creations of this world literally remove my ability to breathe normally. The tears that come to my eyes...

I love perspective - and Yellowstone was a good dose of that. I love Jaren, and how he is often my perspective keeper.

For more pictures - check out the bottom of this page!

I'm gonna have to ask you to go ahead and come in on Saturday...mmmk? Thanks!

Well boys and girls... there's a new sheriff in town. I don't quite know how it happened, but I am the new supervisor for the Fashion Place South Towne (e - cuz were ghetto like dat) Office. A Permanency Supervisor - I implore you to think permanent thoughts!

Anyhow... this is the big promotion that I have been waiting for. So now - all I have to do... is not screw it up. Which hopefully won't be as hard as being a dang caseworker. I don't envy my caseworkers job... I've had it for that last couple years - and it's hard. REAL HARD!

But the best part is - I laugh all of the time about thinking about how I might actually become a Michael Scott or a Bill Lumbergh. I find myself thinking stupid things and pray that my workers don't catch me. Oh the joy!

Spudman and beyond....

Spudman this year was.... well... painful. And not in the way that I wanted...

You see, you train.... and train... and train.... the whole time thinking about the finish. What happens when at mile 8 on the bike your knee begins to feel like it might break? I don't know... I didn't train for this. However, that didn't stop it from happening. Or me from finishing. I was seriously having my doubts though at mile 3 on the run. I wasn't sure if my knee would just pop out of my skin and have a bone sticking out.... kinda what it felt like. I wasn't hurting from my pace, or breathing that hard....

Well coming across the finish line, all that I could think was - this will probably start to hurt even more when I'm done.... I don't think I want to be done then.

Last year I was just so psyched and happy, this year was focused more on the pain. I enjoyed what pain I did feel from my body pushing itself to new limits - that part was great. I was happy to see my mph on my bike stay in the 20's, and overall, I was happy.

Did I mention that Jaren threw down the gauntlet prior to the race by proclaiming to everyone that his only goal was to beat me? This created a competitive shock to my system that was not to be endured! I knew what I must do. I had to crush him. Obliterate. I was on a Brendetta.

Knee or no knee... Jaren must not win.

Well... he didn't.

But then when all is said and done, I'm not sure that I really won. I have now what is known in the medical circles as a torn IT Band. Great. I couldn't walk for a week. They put me on steroids... not an emotional booster I might add. Then the Dr. did what I feared most. He told me that I was forbidden from competing in the half ironman. My dream was lost. I cried. I felt like someone had died.

I know this may seem extreme to most, but for me - it was my baby. I've been training and training and training - for OVER A YEAR! All gone!

My consolation prize? The organizers of the Utah half have consented to crediting my payment towards next year's race.

Now comes the time to decide if I desire another year of this kind of an intense commitment. For now the dream remains a broken one - but a light of hope glimmers somewhere in the corner of my mind.

All said, I beat my time from last year by over 9 minutes. I would say that even with a bum knee that I was proud of myself.

Here's hoping for a quick recovery, and best of all - a lot of new good information from physical therapy.

As for the others that competed- I was so proud. My husband actually beat my bike time by 55 seconds. For not training this is seriously amazing.

Lena put in an awesome time, and proved that she is a force to be reckoned with. And then the Golden Boy, Donny, proved why he has his name. Who does that kind of a race without training? He should become a professional.

What am I thinking?

I just signed up for the Utah Half Triathlon. Half in this case stands for Half- Ironman.

A Half Ironman consists of:

1.2 miles of swimming - no river this time :( It's an open water swim in Utah lake.

56 miles of biking (around Utah lake)

13.1 miles of running... also around Utah lake.

The good news - it's flat.

That bad news - its one right after the other baby.

My goals:

#1 - Finish

#2 - To do so under 6 hours. I think that's a pretty realistic time for me. Maybe. I might need to update this.... as I think about it more.

If you want to do this with me, or just check out the website - http://www.utahhalf.com/

wish me luck!!!

The Weepies

I'm an addict. I get addicted to things as they come my way. My latest addiction?


The Weepies



They have this song... The World Spins Madly On

Oh, and Somebody loved... love that one too.


It puts me in this reflective, artsy - need-to-create-something mood.

Wasatch your back!

The Team known as the Ruckus was divided into Van 1 and Van 2. I being a part of Van 2 (Van being a relative term as we were in a Landcruiser) - we quickly changed our van name to Twinky Cream. Due to the fact that Jaren brought up the usefullness of the film that covers one's teeth after having consumed such a disgusting treat. How that relates to our van you might ask? Well - Jaren was also in our Van. Van 2 was trailed by the the Shaggin' Wagon due to the fact that another team member in Van 2 was also breast feeding her suckling child. What on earth? I know! I can't even imagine having to run this thing with two breasts about to pop from having to carry my newly born child's food storage! How on earth she found the motivation to train after having her second child... I know not. Oh, and did I mention that Emily (that's the breast feeding mom) also had to train while her husband was recovering from a nasty forklift accident... the kind where his leg was rendered useless and pulpy?

Ok, well both teams started at the starting line (as seen above). And we were happy to be starting. You can tell that we were happy - because as you see in this picture - we are still smiling, and look somewhat like the living.

This is Lena, and if it weren't for her none of us would have started this race to begin with.

There was this crazy night, when she came to me and told me about the Wasatch Back. All she had to say was 200 miles, running, and relay - and I was in. Cuz I'm crazy like that. So the hunt was on to find 10 other team members....

Well our start line began in Logan... and from there we traveled through the wasatch mountains (no way you say - it's called the freaking wasatch back!) all the way to Park City. My first run was at 4:00 pm. It was hotter than an egg on a frying pan (thanks for the saying dad). I literally thought heat stroke sounded like a good idea. I came into my first finish line, and passed up Lena's mom. Now that's its over, I somewhat remember seeing her. I was in such a daze that I completely ran past her, not thanking her for being such an amazing person and for volunteering to be out in that hot sun for us! You see, the only person from our team that she got to see in action - was me. And there I was just focused on finding some cold water, and not puking! So Lena's mom - if you read this: Thank you! You are amazing. I appreciate your support and sacrifice tremendously - sorry I'm a jerk and ran past you!

So from that point I was in and out of the car carrying water, ice, and supplements to each of our team members - this is active recovery people! I did that until our van was done. Then we ate Fazoli's (sorta - I was having a hard time eating), and tried to sleep. Nope that didn't happen for me. Instead I tried hard to sleep, which is more frustrating that not sleeping at all. There was this 76 year old woman talking about how she was running the race. All I could think was, "she's probably beating us too!"

Anyhow, the next run of mine was at 2 am. This might sound like a bad time to run, if your thinking with a normal brain. However, if your running the Wasatch Back - this is the best run your going to have. It's not 1000 degrees outside (yeah I typed a thousand on purpose) - and that's still cooler than the temperature of the sun....

It was in the cool of the night that I had my best run. My longest, and best! I kept a faster pace than my shorter (and flat) run from earlier that day. This one was 6.6 miles and uphill... but I felt so good it was faster. I have never had such a fun run in all of my life. I felt fast, was happy, and the stars were out. I knew when I saw the shooting star at about mile four that I would never forget this run either!

Too bad my next run wasn't like that. My last leg, I can't wait to forget! Well sorta.... part of me is proud of the accomplishment, and part of me is sick with disgust. I'm naturally hard on myself, and my last leg was straight up. It was the leg before the Ragnar (a leg so hard it has its own name). Problem was... mine didn't have a name, and so I think it was a tad bit underestimated. The picture to the left shows you the most mild portion of the hill. I gained approximately 1500 ft of elevation in 3 miles. My pace was that of walking in jello... or cement. Yeah, cement, that's better! I felt like grandma with her walker could walk faster than I was running. At 1.5 miles, I looked down at Eric's GPS (which he lent me for the run) and I realized - wait... I actually can walk faster than this. So for the first time in Brooks / Flynn race history - I walked. I almost cried. I was so sad that after all of my training I was degraded to walking. But then it happened.... everyone walked. I'm not kidding... men of steal were right there with me... WALKING! The other side note, was that I only saw one other girl on this leg. What???? What am I doing here? Oh wait... that's how I roll... wish I was rolling down the hill. Then humility really hits - remember Emily's husband that has recently demolished his leg? (Ok, well he broke it 6 months ago) Anyhow, he gets out of the Shaggin Wagon to pace me! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? PRIDE. It sucks.

Anyhow... Britt rocked the Ragnar with an astonishingly fast pace. I was proud to be able to try and pace my fellow runners up their crazy hills. Why is it that I can run when it's not my leg anymore? Oh dear!

A few more hours and we are in Park City at the finish line. All that I could think was - get me out of these clothes, get me some food, and let me sleep.

The race... Hard you ask? Yes, but worth it. Again you ask? Definitely! Why? Cuz that's just how we roll!

Van 1- Thanks for keeping our pace on track!

Van 2- I love you guys, and I'm glad I can't smell you anymore. That's baby making music right there!

Josh - aka, best driver ever. Thanks for coming with us, and for pushing me at the end!

Eric - Remember the wedgy!
Jaren- Thank you for running this with me, even though you hate running. I had so much fun with you, and I'm so grateful to have such a wonderful husband!
Lena - Thank you for such an amazing experience! I am so thankful for all of the effort you put into making this race work. I am thankful for my training partner, my friend, and my memories. Next time, we have to be in the same van!

Wasatch Back vs. The Ruckus

We are counting down. Oh my goodness....

3 days left....

I am so excited. I literally spend way too much time just thinking about this event. I am ready!
Jaren hasn't trained much. Hopefully he wont die. No.. it will just piss me off when he does better than I do, and he doesn't train. Then again... what do I expect? All of the boys on our team are kind of like that! They are all amazing!

Check out the Wasatch Back website. It is : http://www.ragnarrelay.com/wasatchback/index.php

The Trip

Well more is to be said about the trip than just the photo journal - especially considering that RockYou wouldn't even take all of my photos- half of my good ones are missing! Grrr!....

Anyhow, I am a very happy girl. I have been able to live my dreams for the past couple of weeks. I spent some time in Indian Creek - my favorite place in the world. Josh was able to come with us, and that was a privilege. He is a very good person - humble, patient, and thoughtful. He cares about people, and is good to his friends. I was happy to get to know him better, and to be able to watch him climb. Which - he happens to be amazing at. For most people, you wouldn't think of taking them to Indian Creek on their 4th time climbing EVER. But, Josh... well he's special :) haha! Anyhow, he proved us right, and did a great job. He even walked Super Crack!

Anyhow, back to my narrative - we met Anneliese and Klaus there. Two of the most genuine and kind people I've ever randomly met. They were at the base of Supercrack Buttress, asking for directions to the climbs. We invited them to climb with us, and spent the next three days laughing our heads off! Mainly because I developed some weird accent trying to accommodate the language barrier. Problem was, that it was annoying to Josh and Jaren, and yeah.. I was using it with them. I couldn't stop! Ha! Basically sounded like everything I said was a question. Klaus was adventuresome. He enjoyed trying everything and anything. He's now a Mountain Dew and Sour Cream addict - Thanks to Jaren. He tried Wendy's because he saw it in a movie, and ate Donuts because of Homer Simpson. Oh you have to love American culture. My favorite part of the entire trip was the night we spent around the fire just sharing our cultures with each other. I was overwhelmed with a sense of the wastefulness of our country. While we have so many amazing and beautiful things, we take so much for granted... like energy. They explained to me that in Europe if your sitting in a traffic jam for more than 30 seconds everyone just turns off their car! There's an idea! Oh, and how everything here is air conditioned (or "climitization" as they call it). We loved taking them out to eat. It was truly an honor. They were initially hesitant, saying that they didn't want to "capitalize on our friendship." Uhmmm... can you really capitalize on climbing bums? Anyhow, we went to a Pizza joint, and waited 30 minutes outside (which was amusing - because they never wait in Europe supposedly). When we went in, we were delighted to watch Klaus literally try to eat "all you can eat." 11 pieces of Pizza, 2 bowls of salad, 2 bowls of fruit salad and enough drinks to bloat just about anyone. And - did I mention he's super skinny and built? Ha! Not for long if he keeps up with all of the American traditions.

Anneliese was so warm. I loved being around her. Her English was fantastic. She was curious, and fun to talk to. She is a strong climber - that inspired me to want to climb more.

They were gracious enough to invite us to Austria when they are done with their trip. We seriously might have to take them up on it!

I cried when we had to leave them. I truly wanted to just follow them to Bishop... not even so much for Bishop (although I love the Happy Boulders) but to just continue to get to know them.

When Josh and everyone was gone - Jaren and I were quiet in the car for about 2 hours. We had the realization that we were going to have to do the talking, and then things were fine from then on. But for a brief moment, we were lonely. We camped in Moab at the Slick rock campground. A new one for me. It rained, but produced a beautiful rainbow.

The next day we headed to Hovenweep. An ancient village that instilled a sense of mystery into our trip. Why did they build it only to leave 13 years later? What happened? It was a neat trip, and we took a ranger tour to see the petroglyphs (Meghan didn't even draw these ones!)

From there we went to Monument Valley. Another spooky place. What is it about Indian reservations/ dwellings/ camps that just produces a spirit of "you are definitely not alone"? Well the wind helped to keep our minds off of that, and the rain made me think for a while that it might be nice to be in a hotel. This was the only time of the trip that I thought that... but our tent was amazing, and didn't budge a bit. We bent a stake- but the tent didn't bow or anything. Good job tent!

We took the drive through Monument Valley the next day in the rain. Cool with the weather all crazy. I guess most people only get the sunny pictures, but not us!

We then drove through the Valley of the Gods to the Natural Bridges. We decided to buy the National Parks pass there. Good idea too! This was beautiful. I like Bridges, and we learned the difference between a Bridge and an Arch - Bridges are created by water flowing under them. Arches are usually from erosion from wind (or something... wow.. I already forgot! Ask Jaren okay!)

From there we went to Lake Powell. We spent the night at Halls Crossing and then took the Ferry over the next morning. We waited for my parents to arrive. I really started to miss my friend Lena during the wait. I felt like I had so much to share, and was worried that I would forget it all. I was excited to see my family and to start boating.

Lake Powell was pretty windy, and that produced a bunch of waves. My dad almost killed me... but not on purpose. But let's just put it this way, I'm lucky to be alive! Note to self - Brenna - you are not a luggage strap for the front of a boat.

We had fun exploring, tubing, wake boarding for about half a minute (until I took the hardest face plant in the history of mankind). I worked on my tan, and just chilled. I caught a fish, which was miserable mistake. I didn't even fish... I was just holding my Dad's fishing pole for half a second, when BAMB - a bass jumped onto it 3 feet from the boat. I cried! Dad released it. I'm sure its probably dead anyways. But I did like spending the quiet time with Jaren and my Dad. I really began to appreciate fishing time when the rest of my family showed up. Scott, Alicia, and all of the kids came, and the quiet ceased. Oh did it ever cease!

So I swam.

Jaren swam.

Then we cliff jumped.

I loved spending time with Siobhan in Lake Powell. She is such a strong willed woman. She kept me laughing a lot. She was always quoting something, and adding "your face" to it. Or "your mom's face." How do you come back from that?

Jaren drank at least 3 cases of Mountain Dew, and I'm sure he is an addict!

All in all, a very fun and needed vacation. Which I still happen to be on. I am so glad that I scheduled the rest of this week off too! It's fun to be at home and pick up stuff while I recover from my vacation! Good times.

April 6, 2005

Well my recent anniversary has me thinking. I haven't written much about my wedding. Not in journals, in scrapbooks... not much at all. What a shame. Because it remains to this date, the best day of my life. My wedding by the standards of the world - could be considered odd. I was married in the Salt Lake Temple. The only family members present were... well no one from my biological family. My mother-in-law, Janet, was there... and for that I will be eternally grateful. I had a few close friends (mainly roomates) that were there. And yet, I felt like I was home. I knew that my spiritual family was present, and that was enough.

This is a picture of my girlfriends and I outside the Temple. My sister Meghan is the Marine on the top left. She is currently in Japan, pregnant, and I miss her dearly. She is newly engaged to Andy. Some of my bestest friends are here. Andrea is the one to my right... looks kind of like a floating head here. She's now in Boston... I miss her dearly. She's too far away right now! Mandy, is the girl above me in the blue. She is in California; pregnant, and returning to Utah soon. That girl is a rock! I can't wait for her to get back here. It will be nice to have her calming presence within 2,000 miles of me. Phone calls haven't sufficed. Jenny, is just above her (and below Meghan). She recently married my husband's best friend, Britt. Which is odd, because now I never see either of them. Newlyweds! I'm sure some day we will be able to see them again! :) Gwen is on the right, she's in Oregon. How awesome that she was still here for this! She is doing the Spudman triathlon with me, and we have been having fun communicating about that. Man, why are all of my friends moving away from me? Am I missing something? Heather, above Andrea, she's in Oregon too. She's dating a blue shirt hottie, and making out a bunch. Yes! So here's an odd fact. I lived with Andrea and Heather, and both were Relief Society Presidents in the same Ward.... both in the same house. Yeah! I know what your thinking! How did they put up with a heathan like me?! Ha! I love Heather, she always made me laugh. Anyhow, yeah... again - I have so many good people in my life. I am a blessed girl.



So these are the boys (left to right) - Mike Gutke... he took me to Homecoming on my senior year. Pretty much like a brother to me. Only... a brother I dont see very often anymore (boo hiss!). Scott.. my actual brother. Hates suites.... although he's getting married soon, and will probably just have to put up with that. Nate... my husband's twin brother. My Dad - my hero. My husband, Jaren. Hottie huh? Craig, he's my brother in law. And Walt - my father-in-law. Handsome bunch!




These are my new sisters... well not so new anymore. This was taken at the Joseph Smith Memorial building, the night before the wedding at our Rehearsal (what did we rehearse?) dinner. Left to right, Lindsay (oldest), Kara (the youngest), and Marci. I love these girls. Seriously... I love them. They took me in immediately, and we cried together when Jaren asked me to marry him. They are so sweet!

These are my bridesmaids. Jenny, Mandy, Andrea, Siobhan (my sister), and Meghan. Siobhan hasn't been discussed yet, because she was not able to come to the Temple for pictures. she is my baby sister, and I love her so much. Meg is my lil' sister, and I love her too. I'm lucky to have sisters that are my friends. So, I'm pretty happy with their outfits. I had the skirts made, and they all can wear them again without the usual "brides maid shame." The tops, I have seen them wear so I know they were cute! We each have matching necklaces made of stone. I picked the stone because of my love of climbing, moutains, rocks, and all things nature. They are my rocks in life... they keep me grounded. The three on the left definitely brought me back to the Gospel, and to Christ. My true rock.

Which brings me to Jaren. And, if your reading this, you've read my other posts about him.... so you know I'm lucky! One of my favorite memories about our wedding day, was uncoventional - even for Mormon's. Typically when a couple has been married, they exit the Temple together, and have their pictures taken for all to see. My mother, not being able to be in the Temple wanted to some way participate in the initial shock of Jaren seeing me in my dress. This was actually possible, because I did not wear my "wedding gown" in the temple. I just wore my regular temple dress (so now each time I go back - I am actually wearing my wedding dress). Anyhow, so Mom wanted to see Jaren's face when he saw me in my gown. Jaren loves my mom, and wanted to help her feel a part of the wedding too. So, he came out by himself to wait with my parents to see me for the first time in my gown. It meant so much to my mom! I love that he takes care of me and my family. That memory is so special to me, because there were a lot of people outside yelling at Jaren - telling him that he had come out on mistake! Jaren simply grabbed my Mom's arm, and waited patiently for me to appear. His face was undeniably proud and impressed. My Mom was crying, and got her moment! I was happy - because both were happy!

Two years later... and I feel like it's been longer. Not in a bad way either. But I just feel so completely happy with my life, and my choice in a husband. We get along, we complete each other, and we are going to be doing this for eternity! What a blessing!

Jar - Bear

My husband: Outdoorsy army guy wearing shorts, combat boots, and standing like a 12 year old black girl arching his back with his booty out. Perfection!

I have never known a better person.... seriously - I know a lot of good people, and he takes the cake. I am constantly bewildered at the thought of winding up with such an amazing man. I'm your basic nut case: stressed out, overeating, hyper-emotional, and overly sensitive. He's laid back, calm, patient, and supportive. I had my life plan mapped out when I was in 3rd grade... maybe earlier. Jaren took enough credits in college to have a bachelors, but wound up with an associates because he could never decide what he wanted to do.

This blogging thing is making me realize all that I have to be grateful for... I wonder how long that effect will last? Anyhow, I am so lucky to have this man in my life - let alone be married to him. He is my caretaker, and I do my best to help him realize that you should actually put away your clean laundry.

Oh, and he loves my family. Which is not entirely easy. I mean, I love em - but I was born into it, so it's my job. But he handled the initial scorn of our engagement (cocktail ring?!!!), by pointing out to me how hard it might be for my family to feel like they might loose me. Amazing!

So as an added bonus, I said he was supportive, but here's an example:

I decide that I want to be a triathlete. I have been a climber, a swimmer, a runner... now my brain decides that I need a bike (that's nicer than my car) and a lot of workouts. He sells his jeep to help buy me a bike debt free style. He buys me a tri suit for a gift, and then signs up this year for Spudman just to be doing it with me! He lets me pay all of this money for gear, races, and coaches. He even gets a bike so that he can come ride with me. Oh, and did I mention I was the recipient of a new iPod for our anniversary, because my old one took a crap? Meanwhile, he's driving around in a chester (the child molester) type car, with no radio.

Anyhow, I'm blessed. And he even lets me cry, gets me water at night before bed, and lets me eat his ice cream when I just put mine up because "I can't eat anymore."

And he took this picture - he actually took the one on my last post too. Most pictures that I post will probably be his, because once again, he's talented.

A first in a line of many

So I have this friend, Lena. She's my inspiration (if she were a soup - you would call her Inspiration soup). She has this blog, and is always talking about it. I'm not nearly the technical wizard that she is - so my blog will probably always look like crap... but I figured I'd give this thing a try.

I'm just going to get blogging- so that the boredom doesn't seep so quickly into your brain that you drool all over your desk and fall asleep... Oh and hopefully you will keep reading.


***
I was thinking as I woke up this morning that I'm a pretty lucky girl. I have the man of my dreams snoring (and sweating) up a storm next to me, cramps are attacking my uterus, and I didn't dream of anyone dying last night. (Unfortunately that really is true - I've been having strange dreams lately where everyone I know is kicking the bucket). My anxiety of returning to work was minimized by the fact that I was given more work?!!! And there's some bird squawking outside my window... literally right outside. Anyhow, the point is, that I'm happy today. I woke up optimistic. Did I mention that I woke up early?

I went to a dietitian... and that was even a positive experience. I left feeling hopeful, not scared that she would make me starve to death.

Anyhow - I am excited to be alive. I am happy that I have a body that can do triathlons, climb, hike - and explore this beautiful world. I am happy to have great friends that are truly here for me.

Life is good. For today.

Ps- this picture was taken on an awesome adventure in Zion's... another reminder of another good day.