Christmas in Love

Christmas has come and gone - and I find that it is time to reflect. Christmas was interesting this year. It was my first Christmas away from home... and in many ways - my first real Christmas as a Family. Jaren and I celebrated by sharing Christmas Eve with our friends the Echeverria's.

It was so much fun. I absolutely adore their children, and to listen to them talk about the birth of Jesus Christ... well it finally helped me to feel the Christmas Spirit. I never knew how much that feeling (for me) was connected to the love I have for my family back home. To say that I was homesick is an understatement.

Then there was that sweet contentment that I found in making our own Christmas. I laughed as my sister Siobhan called to make sure that we would go buy hot chocolate (which we did) so that I could have a cup of hot cocoa before we opened presents. I giggled when I realized that Jaren finally understood that, for me, the stocking is the most fun part of opening presents! And I cried when some of my family from back home called to make sure I knew that I was missed.

To share it with Alta... well, as you can see, that was the best part!

The year of 2009 truly has been the "best of times and ... the worst of times." I am so grateful for my family this year. More so than ever. I have never understood them more than by being so far away. That, and becoming a mother, may have something to do with it. Do you guys find yourselves thinking, "Dang, my mother was / is amazing?" all the time? I do.

So does Alta! See, that's what she's thinking right here!

Anyhow, I also figured out around 6 weeks postpartum that I was dealing with some postpartum depression. This discovery was made after I found myself balling for nothing... again... or maybe for like the 12th time one day. I will say it didn't really feel like "for nothing" at the time. When I finally vocalized that I thought I had "it" to some friends - and to Jaren it was like I was finally able to tackle the issue. Luckily it coincided with the time that I could start running again. I have always fought off depression (and all other general bad moods) with working out. I figured I could try that again, and if it didn't work, go talk to the doctor. I am happy to report that my body really does balance itself when I give it the proper endorphins. Another thing I should be truly grateful for.

See, Alta's grateful for it!

Now, may I take this time to reiterate the fact that I LOVE RUNNING. I love it. I love how sore I get. I love how I can't breathe when I start out. I love how when I stick to it, suddenly it becomes this magical place where I'm not far from home, where I don't feel alone, or tired, or overwhelmed. I am perfectly in the moment, and rejoicing in my body, and it's great gift of being able to work again. Alta seems to enjoy it as well. This is her running with mommy hat. It keeps her nice and warm while I push her and Mommy into happiness.

I am also grateful, once again, for my husband. Jaren is truly the most patient man ever born. I am so happy that he is finished with his first portion of flight school, and that he FINALLY got to take his paternity leave. It is amazing how much easier life has been with him around. Alta really loves and is bonded with her daddy, and I find that to be one of the greatest gifts of having a family. Daddy loves his Alta, and does an amazing Earny (from Sesame Street) impersonation. I love watching them cuddle, and smile at each other.

I will also say that I find it interesting which skills each parent has naturally. I love that I can tell how to soothe Alta. She doesn't cry. Really. She does this little yell thing for food. A whiny thing for a diaper change or gas. She has only really cried 3 times... and each of those times freaked me out. Once at the doctor -shots... well no duh. Once while on Jaren's chest sleeping, out of nowhere - not sure why still... calmed right down though after we woke her up. And once in her crib out of nowhere. Again, calmed right down after we woke her up.

Most of the time she is just very calm. I'm really lucky, and I know this.

She started cooing and smiling (real smiles - not gassy ones) right at the same time. Same day to be exact, December 18th. It makes my heart sing. How bout you, does this cutie make your heart sing? I thought so!

I can't wait for her 2 month Doctor's appointment (not for the shots of course) - but for the weighing and measuring. We have done a little of that on our own, and so far she has grown 2 inches, and over 4 pounds. Don't you just love a chubby baby neck?

I do!

First two weeks

In an effort to continue with my pledge of honest blogging... I will start with:

HOLY CRAP!

Why didn't anyone tell me recovering from having a baby was this hard? I don't like the feeling of... sitting, coughing, standing too long, or using the restroom (Could be renamed the stressroom for all I care!)

Good thing I got this amazingly cute girl to keep me going!

Alta is actually quite amazing, and I really do love her to bits. Some of my favorite moments have been during her baths. She loves the warm water... (I'm telling you this girl is gonna be a fish like her mommy). I love how content she seems here:

I also love breastfeeding. Well... during the daytime. Who really loves not getting sleep? But I think I like feeding her better this way than I would having to get up and make her a bottle in the middle of the night. I feel incredibly blessed to have this one thing go perfectly right (thus far). I have watched so many of my friends desperately try to breastfeed - and end up not being able to for one reason or another...

So I will say it again: I feel incredibly blessed! I have a good little eater. In fact, she's gaining weight like a suckling pro. She weighed in at 9 lbs 6 1/2 ounces at her two week appointment. That means she gained almost a pound in two weeks! She instantly latched at the hospital, and hasn't stopped since.

I also love watching her with her Daddy. It makes my heart melt to see my husband take care of our little girl. Alta knew his voice from the beginning, and loves her Daddy!

Anyhow, Jaren and I had a lot of help since her birth. We had my parents out first, and then they were followed by Jaren's this week. I don't know what I would have done without all the help. I totally had a breakdown today after Mom and Dad Brooks left and the realization hit that it's all on us now. Panic, Fear, Anxiety, Elation - all feelings I soared through with postpartum hormonal breeze! Then a phone call from Sparkle reminded me that everyone feels this way, and that I'm normal.

But it makes me go back to my original thought at the top of this post. I am totally enamored with all of my friends and family (and especially my own parents) that have gone before me in this vastly frightening world. I will say it again! HOLY CRAP this is hard!!! It's amazing, and wonderful, and totally worth it.... but also hard.

Which is good - because as we know - I like a good challenge!

Welcome Home

I am happy to report that Alta is officially home! We are so happy to have our little peanut finally join our family. As she is officially one week old, I think it is appropriate that I celebrate by our story.

We (my mother and I) arrived at Flowers Hospital at 5:00 pm on Tuesday November 3rd. I was already having some contractions, and was still hopeful that maybe the Cervidil alone would throw me into full blown labor.

Mom snapped one last shot of my pregnant belly... and we were off!

Now I bet your thinking... Wait, where's Jaren? Jaren had the opportunity to take my dad to fly in the Blackhawk helicopter simulators with one of our friends, and Tuesday night at 5 was the only time they could do it. Having already had a practice run (see last post), I knew that nothing significant would be happening for quite some time... so Mom and I went to the hospital while the boys went to play.
Labor officially began when they started Pitocin the next morning at 5:00 am. Wow! Isn't Pitocin fun? I managed for 5 1/2 hours before I couldn't breathe anymore. Jaren and I spent the time visualizing my favorite climbs. It was amazing for a long time, and it was really helping... but then it got to the point where I was sick of climbing (out of climbs to do), and couldn't focus because of the lack of a break (it was hurting ALOT in between contractions). I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that I couldn't do this naturally. I spent about an hour of that time beating myself up for not being able to do what every other woman in the world prior to modern medicine seems to be able to have done. I was actually thinking, 5 hours isn't very long... I should have been able to do this longer (Yes, I am incredibly hard on myself)! Then Jaren reminded me that all of those women of the ages weren't on Pitocin, and that I wasn't going to get any medals for not being able to breathe. Then I thought of my labor Mantra (given to me by my good friend Meghan): There is no right way, there is only my experience of bringing my daughter into this world. It was one of the hardest decisions of my life... and I got to think about it for the entire HOUR it took to get the anesthesiologist to my room.

After I got the epidural, I was able to breathe and relax some, but I still felt a lot surprisingly. I could still move my legs, and although the contractions were no longer painful - I could still feel them and their intensity.

Jaren then had to go study for his test the next day (because the Army was so generous in giving him one day off to even be at the birth of our daughter)... at that point I was extremely grateful to have had the epidural because there is NO way I could have done it without Jaren.

By the time I got to 9 1/2 the epidural had worn off quite a bit. Here's the interesting part. When you finally decide that you want one - you have made up your mind that you don't want to feel any more pain. So I wasn't really "thrilled" to be hurting again. They gave me a "bump" on my epidural (that had run dry), and it did nothing.

So I did my pushing being able to feel it. Now that it is over, I'm truly happy that this is how it happened... but at the time, I was a little frustrated and scared. I wasn't sure if I could do it.

Well as mentioned earlier - Alta is home... so I did do it! It was the hardest thing I've ever done. Harder than any race, workout, or physical anything that I've ever done. And as for the question of which hurts worse - labor or a kidney stone? For me it is unequivocally LABOR. Maybe I've just had so many stones that I've gotten used to their pain... but dang - I could not have done months of labor like I did stones.

This is our beautiful daughter... her first picture! She looks so perfect!

Soon after, she was cleaned up... and Jaren got this cute picture.

And then my dad took this one. I love this picture because it tells so much of the story. I am so exhausted, Alta is so happy to be home, and Daddy is just so in love!

For some more photo's you can check out our Picasa web album of our little Peanut:

Peanut

Stubborn Little Girl

WARNING: Some of the information in this blog may be inappropriate for all readers. If you get squeamish by words like CERVIX... do not continue to read. Happily there are no pictures... because ... well... that would be gross.

***

Now then, for the sake of my posterity (and for the fact that my memory is shot - and I don't want to lose this information) I am documenting now what happened last week.

On Monday, October 26th, I had a Doctor's appointment. Jaren had to be at school, so I had to go alone. At this Dr's appointment they did their usual exams (checking my blood pressure, the baby's heart beat, and checking the cervix). The last exam was MUCH MORE PAINFUL than usual, and I was a little surprised by how much it hurt. After the exam, Dr. Gilchrist sat me up and said that he felt it would be necessary to induce me starting Thursday night due to the "fact" that my baby was getting so large. He stated that he felt that it would be my best chance for a vaginal delivery (if I did not go into natural labor before then). He stated that my baby was only going to continue to grow, and that my chances were far better this week than they would be next week.

Now anyone that knows me knows that I'm a masochist and for some reason really really really would like to have an all natural labor. I'm not saying I can do it - I'm just saying I would really like to try. Besides, how else am I going to be able to tell you which is worse, having a kidney stone or a baby? - and that myth really MUST be tested! (Are you picturing my own episode of Mythbusters? I am!)

Anyhow, at this point, I ask him if he feels it is medically necessary to do an induction. He says that if I don't want a c-section next week, that he feels that this is the best option.

I leave the appointment a bit devastated. I'm feeling like this is one more thing about pregnancy that I suck at, and that OF COURSE! it would happen this way. READ: I had a pity party!

After that, I called Jaren, and he said that he felt like the Dr. was maybe not our favorite, but he was competent and we should trust him.
Called mom... she said the Dr. was just trying to put me into his schedule...
Called lots and lots of people... all giving me their varying opinions on how I should handle the situation and my Dr.
Finally at the end of the night, with a LONG phone call to my sister Janis, I heard the information that I truly needed. She recommended (after a long list of medical things I should do first) that I get a blessing and then pray that Heavenly Father would help me know what to do, and help me to be strong through this process, and help Alta. VERY interesting advice from my sister who said right before it, "Now you know that I don't necessarily believe in God... but."

Strange where the blessing you need can come from eh? Oh, another side note. Janis helped me figure out that the Dr. had stripped my membranes earlier that day (with the evidence he had left behind), and that was why the exam was so painful.

Anyhow, I did get a blessing - and we did show up for the induction. That would be Thursday October 29th. They started me on Cervidil at about 8 pm, and then started me on Pitocin at about 4:30 am on the 30th. I was on Pitocin for about 2 1/2 hours. I had contractions, and thought this was it. They got the Dr. to come in and do a cervix exam and to break my water. I am literally thinking I'm going to have my baby soon...

Ha! Well my Dr. sits me up after what seems like an eternity of him rooting around up there... I swear that he could have gotten to it easier if he had started from my anus. Anyhow, he says that my cervix is VERY posterior. He says that if he were to continue me on the Pitocin that there was a strong chance for a c-section. So he kinda gives me the feeling that we are gonna be doing a c-section that day. To which I respond, "Uhhhhh... do we have another option?" He says, "Oh yeah, we can send you home and try this again next week." At this point I'm thinking, If we could have waited until next week in the first place I wouldn't have had to go through all of this you *&^#)&#(&#!" And yes... I actually bleep in my brain (LIE).

Anyhow, he says that he can not guarantee that I won't end up having a c-section next week/ And that he doesn't want me to be upset if I could have had my baby today rather than next week. I tell him that I would be happiest giving my baby the chance to come naturally. So they send me home. I'm supposed to do kick counts (never have to - because Alta is still training to be cage fighter and NEVER STOPS MOVING). And I'm supposed to come back to his office on Monday.

Over the weekend, I walk and walk and walk and walk... and kinda run (as my mom chases me with grocery carts, pinching hands, and threats).... and then I walk some more. I'm not going near Castor oil, sorry! Jaren and I get to feel like we are back on our honeymoon, and basically we are doing everything all the books say to bring this baby out naturally.

Well... Alta is one stubborn little girl. She got that from me, and she procrastinates like her father...

So I go to the Dr.'s appointment yesterday, and get checked again. The cervical exam is much less painful, and I don't feel like he is delivering a calf (like on City Slickers). He says that he is very happy with my cervix. I think: Oh good little cervix! He says it's mushy (I love this term), and that it is effacing. And then he tells me that I'm progressing nicely, and dilated to 1 1/2. WHAT??? That's where I was last week! He says that he doesn't really believe that I was there last week, and I think: that's where YOU told me I was! But then he reassures me that this was the cervix he was looking for last week after the Cervidil, and that this cervix could very well deliver vaginally. So he tells me that we are going to do this on Tuesday night (yup that's today). I ask if I can wait until the end of the week or if we can do a non-stress test. He says that he doesn't like pushing it after the due date (and he's on call on Wednesday). I tell him I'm fine if someone else delivers me... (I am so proud of myself for saying this)... and then he goes into a host of reasons why he doesn't want to wait anymore.

So at the end of it all... I feel good. And that's when I realize that I'm gonna be ok. The Spirit is strong, and I feel at peace. No, this isn't my favorite doctor. No I'm not a big fan of getting induced. No, I can't believe I'm still pregnant. But... amidst it all... I am at peace. If Alta comes into this world by induction or any other way... I'm gonna be fine. I am a survivor. That's what I do. I will make it through this.

So it's kinda fitting that I go into this final day and night of being pregnant at peace. It's how I feel right before a big race. I know I've done everything I can do to prepare. Now it's up to my body and the Lord.

Alta, if your listening... come on out now. :)

Progress

Hey there readers!

In loving memory of my former body, I have made a short list of things that I'm really missing right now.

Running & Biking & TriathlonsHiking in the Desert


Climbing


Indian Creek... um... more climbing

Lying on my back... after climbing

Now... in appreciation of the body I now know as home... Here's an even shorter list of what has kept me sane these past 9 months:

Swimming

And more swimming...

Yes that's me doing the butterfly. Yes I did this while pregnant. Yes it felt so wonderful. Yes I am blessed to still have this one thing!

18 days to go... dialated to 1 cm. Bring on that baby!

It's amazing how much a person can get done when they aren't being attacked by kidney rocks. This past week was pretty amazing (again - thank you for the fasting and prayers!)... especially in the mornings.

On one such good morning - I went over to my friend Amy's house. She is super crafty and has been telling me that I need to come make these onsies with her. I've seen them before, and they ARE adorable... but I was unsure if I could make mine look as cute as hers. Well... turns out... Amy is an excellent mentor, and helped me to hone in on my crafty side. Take a look:

Here's a closer look. We hand stitch around the helicopter... which is not as hard as I thought it would be. I'm pretty slow at it - but guess what? I have a lot of time!

Now I know what your thinking... I want one! Well Amy is a genius and has decided to start making them for other people to buy. You can get one of your very own (boy or girl) - with or without buttons on Amy's Etsy Site. She does lots of other things besides helicopters... so check it out!

After that successful adventure, I decided that I just might have the strength and stamina to tackle the Nursery. So... here's my disclaimer. This is NOT DONE! But it's a start... and Marci has been begging me to send her any pic of anything to do with this room for some time. So Marci - this again is just for you. I will be adding curtains, and other cute decorations.... and yes... some pink to the room. But so far, I would say it's pretty stinkin' cute.

Her cute crib! Side note - when I was little I was in love with elephants. I collected them. So that is actually my stuffed elephant from when I was a kid... I just added a cute bow!

We are probably going to paint the quilt rack white to match... but alas... Jaren has been very busy.

Speaking of my busy husband... look at what nesting is doing to him! He wouldn't let me leave to go to a friend's baby shower on Saturday until he had finished making me this t-shirt.

Jaren passed his check ride last week, which basically is one huge hurdle now passed. He is doing great in flight school, and I am very proud of him. I can't believe how well he is balancing his especially needy (and admittedly clingy) wife with a very demanding school schedule. I'm sure that, he too, is very grateful for me having a few good mornings in a row!

Final note - I truly appreciate all the love and support I have received during this time. While I have come to appreciate the word sacrifice on a whole new level... I have also come to understand service, charity, and love in a whole new way. Thank you for all of the phone calls, letters, and visiters! You have helped me to try to mentally endure... and so far... it's working!

Come Out! Come Out! Wherever You Are!

Dear Alta,
Oh my precious little Alta James Brooks! I can not wait for you to get here. Your room is almost ready... Your Daddy is almost ready... You Mommy is definitely ready!
Here are some things I know about you:

• You are a mover! You slowed down for a few days, and had Daddy making Mommy call the Dr just to check if you were alright. We spent the next few days counting your kicks. Even when you were slow you more than doubled what the Dr. said you should be able to do in an hour before we should start to get worried.
• You love Mommy's left Rib. A lot!
• You are in "cahoots" with Daddy. He tells you to kick, and you do. You really like the sound of his voice, because you kick a lot when he talks.
• You have so much personality already, that I think I'm going to be in for a wild ride.

Love,

Your Mommy

Dear Brenna,

You will get through this. You will survive. See this picture? For a brief moment in time (a moment that I'm sure one of your dear friends fasted for) - you were out of pain. You were truly happy. It will happen again... I promise. Everyone keeps telling you it will all be worth it. You already know this to be true... just remember it when rocks try to escape your kidneys. You are blessed beyond measure to have people that love and care for you. And you KNOW that you are never really alone. God knows you, He loves you, and understands every feeling you are having at this time. Remember and cherish these moments - they are a gift.

Love,

Your Inner Mommy

Alta and her Mommy's kidney stones

Yesterday I went to the Dr. for my regular prenatal check-up, and for my 4D pictures. It was an eventful morning. I randomly passed a kidney stone in the urine sample I gave them. Apparently my back pain has been so significant that I can't even tell when I'm having a kidney stone!?! It wasn't as big as my last one - but it wasn't that small either. Which ultimately just answers a lot of prayers about this whole pregnancy thing. I was beginning (hmmm... scratch that... I was well underway) in feeling like I was the worst pregnant mother in the whole of this world. Like... I just wasn't cut out for this. Which is hurtful to my self-esteem... because I like to do tough stuff.... I typically enjoy things that cause some degree of pain (think rock climbing, triathlons, biking, etc.). Anyhow, I just felt like this pain was too much... and that if this is what all pregnant women felt - then I was a wimp for how much I was complaining. Which lead to my decision a few weeks ago that I was going to try to not complain about it.

Well now... I don't have to feel like a wimp anymore. I KNOW that I'm doing good now, and that overall - I'm handling the pain amazingly well. It's just reminded me that every pregnancy is different. And that I need to stop comparing myself to those women that "adore pregnancy", or "couldn't even tell."

There are some things that I do adore, and that is what I will spend the rest of my time on today. For example: I love it when she moves. I love feeling her constantly. She is a mover... and I love it. Also: I love it that we have her name. Alta Brooks. Not sure on the middle name - but we are pretty dang positive about Alta. Next: I love my new pictures of her. She looks exactly like Jaren. On the left is one of her pictures... and on the right is Jaren's picture when he was a baby (he's the one on the left in that picture). No denying, she's got his DNA. Same eyes. Same nose. Same lips.
















Jaren and I were so excited for all the pictures that we got - that he made the cutest little video (he did it all... even picked out the music!). Makes it look like she's moving in some parts. I Love it! Hope you enjoy!

July

So I hear that I'm actually supposed to update this thing! Ok, I will do my best to update - and yet not make it a 10 hour read.

What did we do? # 1 - Watched Tour de France. Luckily we have DVR - and didn't need to miss a thing... which is great - because I'm addicted.

#2 - I got a kidney stone. This one was a bit different from all my other stones because it started differently. Felt more like a bladder infection to begin with - and then like all of the others - Pain. Lots of it. 8 mm stone that I luckily passed without needing surgery. Good news - I have another in my kidney just lurking around for another moment I need to be reminded how much I like pregnancy.
There was a very funny part though (as if me having kidney stones doesn't make you laugh already --- admit it old roomies --- it makes you laugh!). The night before was our very first Childbirth class at Flowers hospital. They showed us all the things they would be hooking me up to during the labor, and then we got a tour of the rooms. Very nice rooms. I wasn't quite expecting to be in them - hooked up to all the same monitors the next night... with the same nurse that gave me the tour. I was handling all of this information fine - until they gave me some drugs... and then I had to keep telling myself that I wasn't having the baby... and that it was just a kidney stone.

#3 - All things baby. This is Jaren painting the wall for the room. We are going with Brown and Green with Pink accents for the colors. Look for more pictures when we finish the room.
Here's a random picture Jaren took of my belly.

I'm getting a lot of phone calls from family and friends back home - saying I'm not taking enough of these - so here's two! (And yes... this door is our standard place to take the belly pictures)

Last Friday I made my first baby quilt. I'm really not as crafty as that sounds. I had the inspirational help of my dear friend Sparkle. She has the tools, the know-how, and experience to convince me that such a job can be accomplished. I loved the process of making a quilt... all the way from buying the fabric to sewing the last stitch - totally enjoyable. Also, the process makes me very nervous and scared that I'm going to mess the whole thing up. And yes... Sparkle made me do all of it - that way all of the mess ups I could claim as a right of parenthood - and creation of something all my own for my daughter.

Here's me - 1st time on a surger.
Tying the quilt...

And the finished product! I have to admit that I'm a bit shocked that I pulled this thing off, and that I surged and sewed as straight as I did. Thank you Sparkle - my daughter is going to love her blanket - and love the stories of us making our blankets together.

Special Announcement!!!

Drum roll please!!!!!!

We are having a baby girl! Jaren and I couldn’t be more excited. We would have been happy to have a boy. However, we have both felt very strongly that this baby was going to be a girl, so it’s very comforting to know that our parental instincts aren’t completely missing.

Here are some cute pictures with some photoshop help for the ultrasound reading impaired:



This is an important time to note that I have more self control than I thought. I went to the ultrasound while Jaren was at SERE school. I asked my ultrasound tech to not tell me what we were having, but to put a couple of pictures in an envelope (which I had her seal right there!), so that Jaren and I could open it together when he got home. Then I wrote on the sealed part “DO NOT OPEN BRENNA!” This is where my true genius came in, and I hung the dang thing on my refrigerator. Who does that? A masochist that’s who! I walked past that thing all day for two weeks. Sometimes I contemplated putting other notes on it… like, “You would be selfish to open this without him”, or, “Don’t you even think about it!”

But alas, I didn’t… because I knew that deep down; I wanted him there for that moment... and that he should be the first to know besides me (lets face it - the whole world would have known before him if I opened it before he got home) Anyhow, it was totally worth it! It was a great way to welcome him home from SERE, and a fun memory.

Here is a picture of my baby bump.


Jaren and I took a trip to the Florida Caverns last weekend. We enjoyed the 110 degree heat index, and being chased by mosquitoes outside the cave. Luckily inside the cave was a cool 63 degrees. It was a perfect little trip for the two (almost three) of us!

Utah to Arkansas to home

Well, it's about time I try to document this trip of mine. As I left Jaren at the beginning of the month, our plan was that I would be in Utah while he went off to SERE school. That's the Prisoner of War (POW) training that he has to complete to be a pilot. It lasts 3 weeks in duration, and you can't see each other, talk on the phone or anything. As you read in my last post, that was changed right at the last minute when we found out that he was pushed back. Thus my trip more than doubled the time that I would spend away from Jaren.

I started off in Utah visiting with friends and family. I should give a big shout out right now to Jenny Weenig for coming to the airport bearing gifts of mini Snickers. Seriously, I love that girl! Marci and Kara, and Momma Brooks were also there to suprise me and make me feel like I was special.

One of my first stops was lunch with Lena, and little cutie pie Cora. I love this baby so much it hurts. And I think she loves me back. :) It was a joy to spend time with Leenz, and plot our babies total world domination. May the new generation of "Golden Children" begin! :)

Next was a get together with some old roommates and fellow friends from the Willow Creek Singles ward. From left to right: Molly, Rachel, Marnie, and me! So good to see these girls, eat Indian food, and laugh at how simple our lives have become. And of course, lots of good advice about the pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding, and the like.

My Mom had her birthday while we were there. We celebrated multiple nights with different siblings (as their schedule would allow). Lucky me, I got to go to all of them! This is a picture of Mom at the Cheesecake factory. We had a fun night that night, and I will always have a great story involving my brother and his math skills. :)

My absolute favorite thing that I did while in Utah was spend two days back to back walking up the Temple Quarry Trail. I wish that I had brought my camera for day one with Laura... but alas, I'm pregnant - and can't remember anything.

I did remember it on my second day out with Beth. Although I was much more distracted this day, as I was having to lie over and over again to Beth. You see, I was a part of this amazing plot to get her engaged that night to my good friend Josh. So I had to make up all these stories to keep her for the day. We got our nails done, and then went walking up this trail. Then I dropped her off, and left her to Josh and the engagement. She never saw a thing coming... Basically I'm a great liar. Dang I'm good!

Really... I love this place. I totally cried a lot on the first day with Laura - just being out in the Canyon... next to the Granite. I'm such a climber, hippie girl... it's hilarious. It should be noted that my day with Laura was one of the most healing and joyful days I've had. She is a fountain of wisdom, truth, and love. To share the mountains with her was to find Zen. (see... total hippie)

One of the nights I got together with my girlfriends from High School. Amy is sitting on the floor, (left to right), Leah, Taryn, me, Tiffany, and Amber.... and all of their kids. Well not all of them... there are some kids missing from this photo - if you can believe it. Girls night out was officially overrun by the little boys. Love it. Gwen, Melissa, and Lisa - you were sincerely missed. We love you.

Oh yeah, got a lot more advice on the pregnancy this night too. Good times!

Somewhere near the end of my stay, I got to spend a night with the elusive Summer...

And that hard to catch Jenny... They had crazy schedules, and were gone for most of the time I was there. So it was nice to find some time together. We of course ate yummy Thai food at Thai Spice. There isn't much I wouldn't do for this food, or these girls!

On the day before I left; Emily, Lena and I had some Cafe Rio take out - and enjoyed the kids in the back yard. It was so nice just to spend time with these girls, hug them, and see how big Carter and Ellie (Em's kids) have gotten. I like to think of us as the Trio of Trouble. Watch out world... big things will be coming from this group.

There are so many friends and family members that I saw that I just didn't have my camera with me to document. It's not that I don't love them, it's just that my brain has been sucked out of my head by this baby. So please don't feel bad if your not in the blog... I love you, and you know it because I spent what precious time I had there with you!

Also, a big dilemma is that my videos from the trip aren't uploading right... so Kayden's PBR (Professional Bull Riding) debut, and Marci and Kara's races on mini vehicles aren't going to show up. Grrrr. Just know that if I can get them on here, you'll want to reread this post.

After Utah, I drove with my Mom, Dad, sister Siobhan, her girlfriend Miriah, and my niece Marty in a motor home to Arkansas. We went to see my Dad's side of the family. We drove straight through so that we could make it to "Decoration Day." Basically it's a big family reunion up at the family cemetery. I am so glad that we made it. Jaren drove up 9 hours to meet us here for one day.

This is a picture of my Dad (far right), and his Mom (middle), and his brother Sam (left), and Helen ( left). I love this picture. You should have seen my Dad in Arkansas... acting like a little boy. Out on the front porch giggling with his brother, teasing his sister, and not minding his mother. I got to rub in my Dad's face that he does in fact sometimes NOT do what his mother has asked.... and that sometimes he DOES argue with her. Not disrespectfully or anything like it... but up until this point in my life my Dad had been telling us kids that he had NEVER said the word NO to his Mom. Ha! Caught ya Dad! :)

This is also a great pic of Sam and my Dad, looking at Grandpa's grave. It was a very touching moment for all of us. This was the first time my Dad got to see the grave site...

This is one of the pictures of Grandma's family. I will try to tell you who's in it.

Front row: ?, Grandma Flynn, Aunt Bea Thompson, ?

Middle row: Kaitlyn Capps, Suzy (cousin), Aunt Helen, me, Jaren

Back Row: Mary Capps (Cousin), her husband Scotty is trying to hide behind her with the hat on, Aunt Darlene Flynn, Sam Flynn, Dad (James Flynn), Siobhan (sister)

This is a typical moment in the life of my Grandma. She never stops. She goes and goes and goes. She makes the energizer bunny look lazy. That stool of hers helps her every step of the way. She carts it all over the place. I loved it.

This is my Grandma telling my Dad that he put the dirt in the wrong place, and that he wasn't supporting the plants in the right way. I don't know why, but this made me laugh so much... I had to snap a picture of it, and write about it.

This was Grandma "just cooking breakfast." Holy cow, you've never seen a breakfast like this... unless you worked as a Chef in Little America. On the menu: Eggs, Bacon, Sausage, Brenna's Veggie Sausage, Biscuits, Gravy, Hash browns, Strawberry Jam.... all hand made... all made fresh that morning. Every day. Best part was... she was already starting to make lunch before you had breakfast down. This particular morning, she had already made two pies by the time anyone even came in the kitchen.

Grandma taught me how to make her pies... including her amazing crust. I learned how to make Pecan pie, and Coconut Cream... yummy!

This is the Coconut Cream up close. She makes her pies with a Meringue.

One of our trips in Arkansas was to Heber Lake. It was a colder day, but we didn't let it stop us from getting in the water.

Marty was ready to do some swimming!

And Siobhan was busy trying to fit in with the locals....

The last day of Arkansas was spent crying. Saying goodbye to all of your family at once is hard. Luckily my cousin Mary was making a drive down to Disney World, and was able to give me a ride home. It was a long (and kinda physically painful) drive - but we made it.

I arrived to the joy of Jaren turning the cooler off, and leaving some food in the garbage can and garbage disposal. Home does not = the smell of hot garbage. Unfortunately, this is what my Mary and her family got to enjoy... it took forever to air out.

Now I'm home and just enjoying the fact that this feels like home. This feels like where I'm supposed to be. It will feel even better when Jaren is back from SERE and we can enjoy it together. I miss him terribly.

At that time I will post the cutest ultrasound pictures ever - as well as announce the sex of our baby. Right now that information is waiting for Jaren and I in a little envelope on our fridge. May I have the restraint to not go rip it open before he gets home. I truly want to share that moment with him, and I believe he should know first. (I'm totally writing this to convince myself that I would be a terrible person if I gave in and opened that envelope!)

Thanks again to Mom and Dad Brooks for flying me out to Utah, and for making this entire trip possible. I am so grateful to have been able to spend time with the people I love, in a place that makes me feel so completely whole. I love you so much, and am so lucky to have such a wonderful family.

Thanks to Mom and Dad Flynn for driving me to Arkansas, and for giving me unforgettable memories that I shall always cherish.