Rough Week

I think I'm ready for last week to fade into oblivion. I'm also ready for the sweet little life lesson that I know is just ready to hit me, but for some reason hasn't.... Hopefully in writing this blog - I may find it.

My Grandma Krienke passed away on Wednesday. I got to say goodbye when I went to Washington, and I really thought that I had kind of already processed it and dealt with it. Wednesday, I was informed (by my emotions) that I had a long way to go. I am so happy for her, and for her family, and really with how sick she was - there is no down side to her passing on. I have a firm faith that I will see her again, and that she is not far. So why all the crying?

Thursday, my nephew was booted from his proctor home. He was overwhelmed, depressed, and resourceless. My brother called and needed my help. I did the best with the knowledge that I have and the resources that I am aware of - but it really didn't help me sleep after I had to book him into the homeless shelter. My mind is filled with mixed emotions. I've booked many a client into the homeless shelter - and typically it happened during the daylight hours - so maybe I didn't see the "Night version". Maybe that's all it was... but I couldn't help but feel a bit helpless for my nephew. That feeling was contrasted by my knowledge that it has been my nephew's actions that have brought him to this place of few options. And yet, my heart aches for the continuous trials that he has had to face. Swing back to the accountability that he must now take for the rest of his life.

Friday - I "bonked" while out on my bike ride. Bonk = complete loss of all energy, resulting in extremely poor performance. Also wrecks havoc with your self esteem and confidence.

Saturday - I couldn't finish my Brick workout (a triathlon for the purposes of training). Just had nothing left (time or energy). My calve has been in a knot since my workout - and it hasn't relaxed. Pretty painful...

Sunday - My 3rd Anniversary! Well what's bad about this? Jaren and I agreed not to do anything for it, until we got to France (we are going in May). Typically it would be the girl who then ends up recanting on the idea and be all sad when nothing was actually done. Well no, I wasn't a typical girl that day, and was utterly too unemotional. Jaren however, was not as truly prepared for me to act like it was just another day. Result = bad wife! (Not that Jaren would ever say so).

All in all it hit me yesterday (as I began to unexpectedly cry to my triathlete coach - for NO GOOD REASON) - that I might be a little overwhelmed.

My week was highlighted by beautiful things, and truly humbling acts of love. They are the tender little gifts of God's mercy, that remind me that He is here, and watching over me. For example - my niece, Anna (and her mother - my sister Meghan) came home on Saturday from Japan. Anna's bright little smile (which was especially prevalent for me!) calmed my heart. Watching my sister Siobhan, meet Anna for the first time - a beautiful and touching event that will be with me for a long time. Having my Mom call me and tell me that she is proud of me, "as proud as if [I] had been a doctor" - well I just don't think words can explain that feeling of praise from your parents.

And then there's Jaren. There's ALWAYS Jaren (and his beady eyes). He's the loving husband that just holds me together and shows never-ending patience.

I think there are times we are supposed to experience trials, and I am grateful that my loving Father in Heaven knows when I need them. Like I said, I'm also grateful for the pieces of wisdom He bestows upon the way.

I'm grateful for the constant blessing of the "New Day" or "New Week". The sun that rises, and lets me know that today is a separate and distinctly different opportunity from that of yesterday. I guess, in a way, I am even grateful for my rough week.