Alabama

Here's the official update on my life. I'm writing this post in hopes that I might clarify some of it for myself.

Silverstate closed... Jaren wants to be a helicopter pilot. That part you probably already know... here's the rest of it:
Jaren is turning in his packet for ACTIVE duty military with the Army. He is looking at flying helicopters. He has to pass his physical, which will be administered (hopefully) sometime next week in Colorado. The main concern with the physical at this point is his eye exam. Jaren's eyesight, is well... poor. He is currently 20/400. Meaning, the average person can see the things Jaren sees at 20 feet, at 400 feet. Yeah, he got it from his mother (remember he's adopted)... who we think might be a bat. It explains a lot... his love of black, his weird goth phase, oingo boingo...

Anyhow, Lasic may be an option, but we are not sure if he needs it yet. The rumor on the Army streets is that 20/400 is fine if you can correct it to 20/20 (which he can). The problem is, that with the Army - well you never know if your getting the right answer, until it's too late. We've been told that he can get lasic to correct it (if he doesn't pass) - but that he may have to do it in the military, and wait six months. That would mean he goes into some mechanic program (for helicopters), and then waits until the six months have passed, and then attempt to get in. So, basically we are waiting to find out if he passes the physical- and then go from there.

Once he is accepted, he supposedly will have to do a 1 month training. We aren't sure if that month is without me or not. We think that it is. In that case, I get everything ready back at home, while he does his month training, and then we'd move to Alabama. Once there, we'd live there for approximately 2 years. From there, we have 4 more years around the world somewhere.

Here's another catch - even if he does get accepted they can issue orders anywhere from 2 weeks to 6 months out. So we don't know if we will be here until he gets his orders. And once he has them, we don't know if we can come back until we get out there. We have a few things on the line that have already been planned this summer (and paid for). Mainly, France in May, Wasatch Back in June, Spudman in July, and Utah Half Ironman in August.

I am doing my best at remembering that I received an answer to my prayers. That I know that things will work out alright. My emotions and feelings have been all over the place since I got that answer, and I am just trying to keep perspective. What I do know is that I love my husband, and that I will follow him anywhere. Everything else - just details to my life that I will have to be flexible about.

"Well now your back is going to hurt because you just pulled landscaping duty..."

Work is good for you. So they tell me. And for the most part... I believe them.

I like to work. I like to work hard. However, my body does not always like me.

Case in point:
A 3 1/2 hour "training triathlon" followed by 2 1/2 hours of swabbing the deck (scrubbing the grout dirt off the new tile flooring) = reality check. You Brenna, are not made of steel. You are not an "Ironwoman". At the moment you seem to be made of pain. I literally thanked Heavenly Father many times today for muscle relaxers. Ever had a charlie horse in your back? Pray that you never get one. That way you won't have to pray to thank Heavenly Father for muscle relaxers. I always think of what I should have prayed for... a little too... late.

This pretty much sums up my day... (Double click on the image)

Miracles

I keep telling you that I'm blessed... and that's because I am!

I keep getting the same spiritual lesson taught to me (and probably will for the rest of my life), and that is to trust God, and that everything will be alright. He's running the show, ya know. (NOT ME!!!)

Here's my latest miracle:
6 months ago Jaren started getting serious about his idea to "quit his job, and just focus on school." Well, anyone that knows me - knows that I value my independence. Highly. Call it pride if you will. The problem with his little scenario was that it called for us to move... into his parent's house. I'm 29, almost 30!!! His parent's are great - and everyone knows that... but I am not great with having to accept help from anyone (I prefer to be the one helping). I like to think of myself as capable, independent, and thriving as a successful wife. None of these come to my mind when I think of living in a room two doors down from his parent's.
Well... good thing I'm not in charge. We prayed about it. I was telling God in my prayer- that I would do as He willed me... but that really... really deep down (ok, not even that deep down), I wanted to stay put... really really! Well luckily God knows that I need "kick in the pants" answers, and didn't leave much room for doubt. I was to move out, and let Jaren quit his job to study.

Well... I'm prideful. I already told you that. So we moved, but I never stopped questioning - "Why?" and "Are You sure?" Dang Brenna... that's what God must have been thinking. Especially when I envied Jaren's extra sleeping time (he didn't have a job - why get up at 5:50?)... or when I saw that despite living in his parent's home our finances were still going downhill....

Well yesterday I finally got the message. Yesterday at approximately 11:20 am, Jaren called to tell me that Silverstate Helicopters (the company that he obtained his license from... less than two weeks ago) was shut down. Bankrupt apparently. Gone!

Where's the miracle you ask? What would have happened had he not quit his job and focused on school? He wouldn't have finished. He would be 2 years into this, financially depleted, and nothing to show for it. He finished literally in the last hours of the company's life.

I KNOW that God is watching over all of us. I KNOW that he personally guided me, literally - against my own will, into this, and safeguarded us through it. So I ask myself... when am I going to learn? When will I stop asking "Why?" When will I just trust Him?

Now I pray for the thousands that are stuck in that mess. I pray that they will be watched over and protected - and guided to where the need to be.