Triathlons and my life

You know, there are things in this world that make no sense to me - and there are things that make the world seem to make sense... even if just for a brief moment.

I hear the following all of the time: "You have to be crazy to want to swim, and then bike, and then run." or "Who is stupid enough to do that?"

Well triathlons are a part of my life, and I hope that they always will be. I love them. They bring joy into my heart and soul - and they help me to explore the wonderful gift of my body! They help me to have a good self image, and remind me that deep down - I love being tough (even if it hurts a lot!)

Here's a pic of Lena being tough! (There's nothing tougher than Duct tape.)

So doing another relay was just another way for me to love doing this sport with my best buds. Lena and Em are such a part of my life - and a triathlon with them is just a blessing! Who cares if I don't actually get to swim in that triathlon! I got to go and watch them push themselves, and have a great day.

It was also a blast to watch Jaren, Donny, and Russ - the three non-trainers that they are - still finish in good form! If Donny would ever train - I swear to you - he'd have to thank me someday in his sponsorships!

Here are some classic pics from Spudman this year. Lena got my favorite pose from last year - and put her own spin on it. I like the purse!

You have to have a standby pose when you're wearing a wetsuit! The money shot.
Our boys... gotta love em.
He sweeps me off my feet, and makes everything wonderful! Love you Jaren!

Team Sprinkles

Go big or go home. That's my motto in life. If your gonna do something - do it right. When I hurt my knee this year it was a bit hard for me to come to terms with the fact that my racing season was over. So when the opportunity came around for me to change my Olympic distance race at the Echo tri to a Relay - I knew it would be awesome. You see, it feels a bit funny to do a relay of a distance that you do all the time on your own. So I had to spice it up a bit - and brought out all the ribbons and bows (literally). I even kept my bows in for the swim. They are just under my cap - making it all skeewampus. Gotta love swimming in lakes when the sun just comes up!
This girl was not prepared for my powerful exit out of the water. Just cuz I'm wearing bows - doesn't mean I won't kill you.
Laura "Big Gun's" - seriously - check out her arms. I love how her shirt matches her bows.
Jenny's just out for another stroll. Good thing there were no nuns around to make her cry this time. Also the only picture I have of her without her eating a shot block - who eats on a relay run?
My partners in crime were Jenny and Laura. They were not quite prepared for the girl fest that was Team Sprinkles. But when you have to wake up at 4:00 am to get somewhere - I say put your hair up in pigtail buns. It's always a timeless look.

Our relay took second, and for a while there - it was out of two teams! Ha! But then, lo and behold - there was a third team that we were able to destroy with our cuteness.

All in all, it was a fun race. No pressure - tons of cheering - and lots of bows. Might just have to do this again sometime.

Reel them in Jaren!

Wasatch Back this year.... well I guess for me it was easier. Sort of. Physically - Yup. Mentally - I would put it as harder. Sitting in the van driving... wowsers. If I could have ripped off my knee and just run with a peg leg I would have.

I did get the pleasure of pacing Jenny, Chan, King, and my husband every once in a while. I also got to be the water delivery mechanism.


And I was the team morale booster. As you can see!!

I will say that it was really cool to support Jaren, and just have this race be about him. He did a great job, and I'm truly amazed at what he can put his body through without training. Honestly, it's crazy. But I'm even more humbled by his positive attitude. There he was - dying on the road (so to speak), and yet he was laughing it up, and pretending to reel in his next kill.

Van 2 was awesome. Eric Beins broke out with some Dr. Phil that honestly puts the Crocodile hunter in check. Eric was also King of the Ragnar this year. He never stopped running, and he looked like a machine - kind of like terminator - only his one eye that was staring at us was when he bent over and showed us the "Red Eye" or "pink moonbeam" as he called it.

Chan was hilarious. She is one ball of determination. I thought she was going to kill us all after mile 1 on her first run. She didn't look like she really loved the idea of finishing the race - but she just kept going, and going, and going. Through tears, through pain, and through a 200 pound woman in sweats!

Eric King and Greg performed well. They spoke little. Eric found the true meaning of pain on the Pre-Ragnar. His quote of "words don't even describe this..." shall be remembered. As well as creating a tradition to have the team cripple (this year it was me) pace him up the run.

Jenny - oh Jenny. She cried at a fake Nun for goodness sake. She was so tired, and a wee bit emotional in the morning (took over for me) - and when she saw a fake nun - she started bawling. When we asked if she knew it was a fake nun, she said yes. And she kept crying. Then when we asked why she was crying she said, "Cuz she serves the Lord." Which has to be one of the cutest (and most confusing) statements I've ever heard during a race.

Then just today, I read Lena's blog, and was curious at how I would fare in an animal attack. Apparently I am built for it. Which I find interesting, I can take every attack and survive except for a Gorilla? How does this relate to Wasatch Back you ask?

I find it funny that I can supposedly take all these attacks - and yet it's my knee that ends up killing me every time. So maybe, the human attacks ratio isn't quite accurate. Because I seem to be killing myself. Great. Knee suicide.

In the end I was grateful to be a part of the race, even though I wasn't officially able to run it this year. I will say that it was a privilege and honor to see so many people pushing themselves physically and mentally. It's a hard race - and those that are able to run it - hopefully they appreciate the gift that is. As for Jaren - maybe someday he'll actually train for a race.

Nah, that's probably crazy talk!

Vikingman Triathlon - aka - Adjusting my attitude

My 29 years on this earth have taught me a lot. I have created thought processes and habits that are difficult to undo. I have expectations that are hard to unravel. I have demands that can be impossible to meet - even for me.

Bottom line = I'm hard on myself.

It was about mile 28 on the bike yesterday that I finally got that long awaited tailwind. I had battled 24 miles of a headwind, 3 or 4 of a crosswind, and finally... finally... that tailwind! It was a beautiful moment. I had hope. Life was great. Oh, and that 20 mph wind wasn't keeping me cold anymore. Working with the wind is like stepping into a warm room. Ahhh, I do have toes!!! I just can't feel them all the way yet.

Anyhow, it was about this point when I was dethawing, that I heard the dreaded pop in my knee. My IT band did this last year - and it was a tear. "NO!!!" The pain didn't immediately come, so I thought it might have just been my joint, and that I'd be fine. Well the pain did come... it just took a while for my body to register it from all the other pains that I was experiencing. When I realized that I was really in for it, I had a decision to make. I will tell you that it was one of the hardest in my lifetime. (I know it's lame to have this be counted among one of my hardest decisions - but that's how crazy I am about not quitting). I decided that my mind alone could not be trusted, and that I needed to ask help from Heavenly Father in what I should do. I knew that if the decision was mine - I'd repeat Spudman, and not quit (even if it meant driving my knee straight into the ground). I didn't want to be stupid, and I made Jaren a promise this year that I wouldn't hurt myself. So I had to pray. As soon as I asked, I got the most overwhelming answer that I was done. However, it was NOT a relief. I knew that I was not to be trusted with this answer, so I prayed for the courage that I would need to be able to quit.

You see, I know that I am prideful, and that is why I will kill myself to finish a race. Pride. Ego. Stupidity.

I had to bike until mile 35 with one leg. Thank goodness that we practiced one legged drills a lot in cycle camp! When I pulled off at the stop, I was so tempted to just ask for some Tylenol, and keep going - but I asked Heavenly Father for help again, and I said it, "call my husband please."

The tears came, as a dream was lost. My pride fell, and the rest of the day would be spent questioning my decision. Was I a quitter? Could I have pushed through the pain? Did I just not train enough? Was my body built for this? The self doubt was the worst part. As soon as I made the decision I wished that I hadn't. I wished that I could get back on that bike and grind my knee into the ground trying.

I went to bed that night hoping that rest would provide clarity in the morning.

I woke up, and wasn't able to go to church - too much pain. Physical and emotional. Back to sleep.

When I woke up again, my knee was feeling surprisingly good. That led to a bit more self doubt - saying "see you could have finished!" That was countered by some sense of reason in my head (most likely the Spirit), that said, "Silly, it feels better because you didn't finish!" Which when I thought about it - gave me hope. I have one last half ironman option this year - August 9th - the Utah Half. I'm already signed up for it. It could be that Heavenly Father told me to stop - so that I could do the necessary rehab to make in on August 9th. Maybe. Or maybe my body won't heal the way it needs to, and I'm just done for the year.

Either way, I know that I need to work on my attitude. I am always telling my clients at work, my friends and family, and all of my training buddies to be gentle with themselves. I'm more forgiving and gentle with everything and everyone else. Why can't I just be nice to me? What is the deal?

So in an effort to keep my promise to Summer (to find my sprinkles of the race) and to not be a negative Nancy, here are some of the great things I'm proud of:

#1- According to the results I was the fourth female out of the water. :) Jaren was counting, and well... he was right! I was kicking butt at this point!

#2 - I made my goal of getting to the tailwind. The headwind was brutal, and lots of people quit just because it was so dang cold (they were probably the only sane people there!).

#3 - I passed some guys on really really really nice tri bikes... ya know... like Cervelos. Yes! And I passed them only going 11- 12 miles an hour! Ha! That tell you how bad the wind was?

#4 - Even though the water (and air) was freezing, and the conditions were terrible, my mindset was totally improved from St. George. I was in a great mood in the water, and I was having fun swimming vertically. (Wind created waves in a river! And of course it was a headwind!)

#5 - I can walk today! .... sorta.

# 6 - I supported my friend Jenny through the rest of her race, and watched her achieve one of my biggest dreams. I could have easily just sat in the car and waited it out - but she needed someone to cheer her on. And so I hobbled my little butt to the finish line to scream my guts out for her!

The last one is the most important. That is this - I put an answer from the Lord above my ego. And although, the thoughts in my brain wont stop calling me a quitter and a loser - I know that stopping was harder for me than finishing would have been. I can take the physical pain so much easier than that.

Now, if I can just get control of my thoughts - and tell them to shut up (because I know they are stupid thoughts) ... I'll be just fine!

Half Squishy-man tomorrow

So... instead of calling it a Half Ironman, I'm going to call it a half squishy-man. That doesn't seem so scary does it?

My friend Summer - a beacon for all thoughts encouraging and positive - gave me a game to play during my event. She challenged me to think of the highlights of my race as "sprinkles on top". Whether it's the fact that the guy next to me has snot dangling from his shoulder (unsuccessful release of the "farmer blow"), or not stepping in a pile of dog poop (to come back around that loop and see the foot print in it!), or just being out their in the sun having a good time. Whatever hilarious things I see, I'm looking for them. In the meantime I'm gonna be working in 15 minutes sections....hopefully that's easier to handle. It's also the time that I will be eating or drinking something. And you all know how much I like to eat!

At any rate - look for a hilarious post coming soon on my travels to Burley Idaho.