Janis

You know when you write your blog - you should be cautious. Cautious about who and what you talk about. You never know when your sister might read your blog- and read that she was freakishly not mentioned... anywhere in it.

When your sister makes a comment to your mom... that's when you know your in trouble. I was in disbelief. I know that I've mentioned her somewhere!! Really? Nowhere? That's wierd!


Well that's the predicement I'm in. It's not that I didn't mean to, just somehow didn't.


So in an effort to repent of my sins of omission, here we go:


Ode to Janis

Janis, I love you. Not the stupid three words that you just "say"... but the three words that one who feels an overwhelming feeling in their heart uses. You are a great older sister (I didn't want to use big sister - you would purposefully take that wrong). You are an amazing mother, and I have no idea how you simply keep your head on your shoulders. You were definitely called to the family that you have been given. Only you (well - and Lee of course) could raise your children, and whether they love you or not today - they know that your doing the best that you can. At least I hope and pray (every day) that they know that!

I am grateful for the understanding compassion you have shown me. I am blessed to have you in my life. Even if that means that Thanksgiving and Christmas may have doubled (tripled with Scott's efforts) in size (and craziness).

Well ... there you have it. Your own post dedicated to you. :) You must make a comment - or there shall be none further! Haha.. just kidding.

If there is anyone else out there that feels shunned by my commentary - please know that my blog is primarily a selfish idiocentric rant that others can read and adore me by. (If that didn't make you laugh - then you probably don't know me well enough to be reading this blog... so move along!)



This picture reminds me of a time when life was a lot less complicated... but my love for the poeple in this picture has only grown with the time (and all of the complications).

Seriously?

Seriously! I exit my plane in Los Angeles.

12 minutes.

That's how long I've got to get to my next plane before I get stuck in the land of the gangsters and movie stars (is there a difference?). Breathe. You've been training for freaking triathlons. You can do this! Go!!!

I begin my run with a quick moment to ask for directions. "Oh, you go down the stairs and to your left", she says. "She" should know... "she" works here... right? Well... what "she" forgot to mention was "down the stairs and to your left" translated into Brenna speak = Down the stairs... outside... 3 (FREAKING) buildings to your left...

*** side note***

These are airport buildings... HUGE....

*** side note ended***

... go inside... speak to another "she" and have her tell you to sit in a freaking line the size of a mass migration to Mecca... only to have a somewhat good looking security guy come and ask you... "why are you in this line?" ... he then points you to the security checkpoint.... where you have to go through security again???? Seriously!!!???!!!...

Oh... then you find yourself asking every Asian person there in line if you can jump ahead of them, because your already supposed to be on the plane... well actually because your so fit... you have 2 minutes left... (your gonna need them)... take off your shoes, empty your bags... get a new boarding pass and run... run for your life.... run for about 1/3 of a mile.... while the semi-hot security guy rides his bike next to you (weird... i know)... then get there... gasping ... try to not look like your a terrorist... and hand another "she" your stuff... search for your passport... get on the plane... dripping sweat.... get inside... sit next to a Korean kid that won't talk to you for another 10 1/2 hours... and text a message to your husband and Lena... You were born for this kind of thing.

Good thing the "she" #1 didn't say all of that... it would have taken her twelve minutes!

***

11 1/2 hours of flying. No food. "We no have your order for begitarian" Wow everything has meat in it? They bring me a roll to my delight... I open, and even that is filled with meat. Nope.... looks like I'll be loosing part of my nice big butt.

Skip ahead to Tokyo Narita Airport. Waiting for my luggage... starving... waiting... "Anyone from Salt Lake City?" (go ahead, say it in a Japanese accent... it's more dramatic that way) I turn around, look the Japanese "she" in the eye. "We lost your luggage in California" Of course you lost my freaking luggage.... I only had twelve minutes. What do I expect? "Where should we ship it?" Really Brenna, you should have an address of where your going... that's kind of important. OR even a phone number. Guess you'll have to wake mom up. "Mom, what's meg's phone number?"

Call Meghan, stop crying... your gonna live ya know.

Skip ahead to Meghan picking me up from the airport. You'll just have to wear your clothes for the next two days. Oh Joy!

Then I meet Anna. Who cares what just happened, or how I smell... or what I look like. Look at her! She's the most beautiful girl I've ever seen! She has the most perfect little arms, and face. Her lips are precious, plump, and doll-like. Her feet....

Oh come on!!! Look at those! Adorable. She has the long Flynn toes. Love it! I feel the ache in my chest as I now understand the problem with "coveting" as I never have before. My baby-hungry heart can barely contain itself. I long with every fiber to just take her home with me. Meghan won't mind... will she?

She could totally pass for my daughter... right? Except that she gets Meghan's angry little eyebrows.

(Meghan might kill me for that picture- but it's hilarious and I couldn't help myself!)

Ok, enough with the coveting - a time and place for everything right?

Let's see - I got to sleep on a futon. Yes, it's as fun as it sounds. I think the frame was made of rebar or something, and the mattress of cotton balls. I rolled onto the floor half of the time to be more comfortable. Makes you appreciate your nice comfy memory foam all the more.


Spending time with my sister... priceless. I haven't really been able to "live" with her since she got married the first time at age 18. We fought like cats and dogs back then. Over stupid stuff - like clothes, and who stole who's friend. Stupid. This time, we only had two fights - still over stupid stuff. But two times is a great improvement. And we laughed a lot more than we fought. Like when she was trying to teach me "arigato gozaimashita." It means thank you very much. Wow... way to make it hard! How many flipping syllables? Well it took me a long time to get the tone right - and Meghan about puked she was laughing so hard. I do think she peed a little.



We ate a lot of Pinos. What's a pino you ask? Well they're delicious!
You get them at the 7-11 (which is called the 7 iHoldings). Weird. They are chocolaty goodness. Meghan said it was the perfect portion (not a "fat-ass American portion" that she kept telling me all of us "Americans" eat so much of). That may have been true too... except for the fact that you didn't eat just one... she ate like 4 of them. I laughed, and ate along with her. So good. I could make a fortune if I could bring them to the U.S.

I cooked pretty much every night. Which was great - because it reminded me that # 1 - I'm a good cook. #2 - I like cooking!

The day before I left Andy (Meg's husband) took me to Hiroshima. We went to the Peace Park. It's a memorial for the Hiroshima atomic bombing. I think that every human being should have to visit that... whether they want to or not. I especially think that any leader of a world country should have to go there on a regular basis - and any time they are going to sign some order to bomb another country - atomic or otherwise. It's ridiculous what we do to each other.

This is me in Hiroshima.

After my day at the Peace Park and in the great big confusing (epileptics nightmare) city of Hiroshima, we went to Jan Jaka, a Korean BBQ. It was fun. You grilled your food on this little pit in your table.

Meg and I took this Siamese twin picture there... we didn't plan on matching.

All in all, I had a great time. I learned a lot about myself, and even more about my sister. I have so much love for my family. Meghan is going to be a great mother to my little Anna. (I have ownership issues) In the end I was happy to return to my loving husband. I was more grateful to have him as my spouse, and to be able to think of someday bringing our own little one into the world. Then I can have all the photo shoots I want! Perfect! I'm glad that Meghan has her own match in Andy. He is perfect for her, and makes her happy. She deserves that. Now Anna????... no one deserves a baby that perfect! Oh dear....

Committed

"Don't bother doing something, if your not going to do it right." That's what my father always said. So when I hear ugly sweater party... I think... 80's. That's when I wore my ugly sweaters.


I show up at Lena's... and there she is all cute and pretty. What the crap? Has my partner in all things crazy gone soft on all of her lortab? Has her foot pain confused her? Has she fallen astray?

Not an option! I practically had to force her to let me ugly her up a bit. Lucky for me she is on lortab... Ratting hair that could have been made into a cashmere sweater it was so soft.... Hairspray (that will fix it) ... blue eye liner rubbed across my finger to rub on her eye. Pinkest of pink lipsticks. Bueno!

NOW THAT'S AN UGLY PIC!

Lena you were such a good sport. Thanks for letting me have my way.

Oh,... and then I show up to Emily's and she's dressed to kill? What the ....??? Her sweater is actually cute. I would totally wear that! And her hair... not 80's at all. Good thing she likes me... otherwise Lena would have killed me for sure. Show up to a party looking like this - and then see cute Emily = death to Brenna. Pigtails and Pink and Orange eye makeup... way to go Em!

Kathy... well she needed no such assistance. She is a kindred spirit in crazy 80's. A little too good at it though.... hmm.... Kathy... admit it - You totally still try and wear your sweater around the house!

What a great night.

Sexy pants

Every now and then you need to feel sexy. Like a woman. Like your not done being beautiful because your not "on the prowl" anymore. Or because you did have that extra serving of mashed "I like big butts" potatoes.

I recommend Mac makeup. And sexy pants. Yeah... and maybe a good coat. It was a good combo for me.

Maybe no more pajama pants for a while too.

I got to see one of my bestest friends... Andrea, the other night. She was looking especially sexy. She reminded me of how much fun it is to get all "dolled up." Mainly because I did so for her.... why is it that girls dress up for other girls? (It's the truth and you know it!)

I enjoyed my time with her so much. She is one of those friends that makes me think about how I can be better. Not because she's all preachy or anything... but because she is just inspiring.

I also got to meet her man (FINALLY!). Also full of sexy. I'm so happy for her. She deserves to have a good man that is also nice to look at. :)

Anyhow, she showed me her makeup collection, and I thought about quitting my job for half a second to become a makeup artist! It's like painting - but on someone's face. But then I remembered, that I have to keep my job. Kind of important.

Saying Goodbye

On Wednesday I booked a flight to Seattle to say goodbye to my dying Grandmother. On Thursday I was in her hospital room. The miracle of having a flexible and supportive job - and of airplanes!

My Grandma Krienke is the grandmother that I was closest with growing up. I spent a few weeks with her during some of my summers. Everyone says that I was her favorite - and I kinda like to think so. Although, I think with grandma's each grandchild is "their favorite!"

Grandma Krienke is honestly one of the most pleasant people I will ever know. She was so sick, and had to have been in pain - but never complained. She was always smiling - and saying how nice everyone there was. Grandma is suffering from dementia - so it's really cute when she tells you how nice everyone is... because your positive she doesn't remember!

Dementia is an interesting thing. There are the obvious draw backs - but there are some real blessings that come with it. I truly think it's God's way of protecting them. I think Grandma might have known what was going on if she didn't have dementia. As it was - seeing ALL of the family show up... was just... a surprise! And a surprise! And a surprise!

One of the great blessings for me was to hear the stories repeated so many times. The things that she could remember - were repeated frequently. Which helps - because although I don't have dementia - my memory isn't much better!

"Grandma, where were you born?"

"Oh, I was born in Dodge City Kansas. And then I moved to California. California girl. I lived in Los Angeles."

"When did you move to Washington?"

"When I married Paul. We used to live on the 18th green. So I golfed a lot."

"How much did you golf grandma?"

"I golfed in the morning, afternoon, and evening, Saturdays and Sundays!" - that one became one of my favorites! She repeated that line A LOT! She did it in such a cute way - because she could barely get her mind in order - but there were little sayings that she was able to rattle off very quickly (and cutely I might add!)

Another one she kept saying was "Oh well, now I'm really living" in reference to me adjusting her bed up or down.

When asked how the food was "Oh its wonderful! And I don't have to do dishes anymore, so that's the good part." Everything was a positive. Even when she talked about how she missed cooking - she would say "But now my memory isn't so good, so it's nice that I don't have to cook. I don't have to do the dishes, and that's the good part!" (I put in the repetition to give you an idea of how much I liked that line)

I loved when I asked her if she was good looking as a young woman; she said,"Of course!" Then she would give you face and stick out her tongue. She has a great sense of humor.

There were a few sweet blissful moments of what I like to think of as clarity. Some might say she was just having a lucky guess - but I think she knew it was me for just a few moments. She would tell me how much she loved and missed me.

One of those was when I gave her this seashell that I picked up off "our" beach. She used to take me down there every day. She loved seashells. Couldn't think of a better gift for her... than to give her a gift that would bring back a memory!

On Sunday night - I got to be with her alone - just once. I was able to say goodbye. Hug and kiss her. Cry. Tell her how much I loved her, and hug and kiss her some more. It was perfect. I left crying - but honestly, my heart was happy. She's always in such a good mood - and she doesn't even remember pain, so I knew that she was ok. I also knew that God was very near, and that He is very mindful of everyone... especially my Grandmother.

On another note. I got to see my family. I got to reconnect with long lost cousins: Ashley, Benjamin, and Theresa. I got to hear about their lives, and come to the realization of how much I want them in my life. We shared laughs, tears, and hugs. I also got to spend a lot of time with my aunt Lynne. She has been doing the majority of the caretaking for my grandmother- and I respect and love her so much. She has been doing a thankless job. Caring for someone with dementia is so difficult. Her life has not been her own for years. The news of grandmother rallying on Sunday wast bittersweet. I completely understood. I had just been there for a few days - but I didn't want my grandmother to have to keep going on. Getting better, and then worse, and then better again. Lynne has been by her side for so long - and I don't know how she has done it... I can't imagine being on that rollercoster for as long as she has! Amazing. Humbling. Lynne is such a neat woman. A little ADD... which was all the more endearing! She would even forget to eat because she would get so distracted. I wish! I've never been too anything to eat....

Jaren was able to come up on Friday and spend the weekend with us. I was so happy to be able to share my family with Jaren and vice verse. He fits in perfectly. Benjamin is in the Air Force and is flying planes. They discussed flying and military until we were all ready to throw up. I got the opportunity to realize (again) how much I need my husband. He truly is my perfect match. He comforts my soul, and brings so much peace into my life. Peace and balance.

The other funny thing that happens when you get your family together... you find out how much you are genetically predispositioned to be the way you are. Theresa, Lynne, and Ashley live so far away - and yet we have so many things in common. And there was a moment when Theresa and I realized we were repeating a conversation to each other, after we had just made fun of our mothers for repeating their conversations. No matter how much you may try otherwise - part of you will always be like your mother. Part of you will always be like your family. So just breathe.